My Thrilling Encounter With The Police(Very very unedited please)

Discussion in 'Crime' started by Sleek, May 26, 2017.

  1. Sleek

    Sleek New Member

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    Ah! I remember how my mum, back in the days, used to scare the shit out of me by threatening to call the police when I'm being stubborn; that among others. "Seriously mum? Thought I am your darling" is what I always thought while responding to whatever she wants me to with 200% attention. Yeah! that was how much I get scared anytime she comes up with one of her lines like such.

    As the years go by, so is my dislike/rebuke for the men in black. This because the good deeds that are easily attributed to PoliceNG are the reports of extortion, harassment, false accusations, bribes, most "early" arrival to scenes of robbery.

    So, on this fateful evening, amidst all the emotional and mental preparation of what is to come on the night of the Europa League final match — a Manchester United fan should know what I mean already, it occur to me it’s been a while I last went out outside me going to work and I feel I should try and do that since there are few things I want to add to my apartment; I might as well go for them now.

    Now, I am out, in Dugbe market, I’m done with getting the stuffs I need since the price I met is higher than I thought, I didn’t get shit. I am here, this is the mall close to me, rain drop, drop top, there are few things I can do in that mall. I shouldn’t take this L just like that so I head to the mall. If nothing else, I’d be able to get bread.

    I am out of the mall now, about to head to the park, I’m looking at my polythene bag and smiling, I’ve gotten few items of about few-poverty-thousand naira but would be looking like hundred naira if not for the glorified Gege bread I added. Don’t be giving me that “so na bread be your own problem” look please, I’m still pre-rich and this little thing counts!!! Thank you

    Few distance from the mall, I am descending this slight slope alleyed by the Union Bank and First bank buildings as I’m headed to the park, a sight pops up, that of 3 guys with saggy pants standing in front of a man donned in white T-shirt with a black vest that has the word “POLICE” fadingly painted on the chest. A party I wish I can crash is going on here, but no, who am I? Some Thor level shit? Fuck no…… I pree them once, and turn my head back, but…… it’s too late now, the officer saw me too… I stroll by their parked green golf and I here the officer call at someone “Oga, come here.” I flash a puzzled look and resume back my journey…”he ain’t calling you fam, just fuck outta here”

    I should be on like four steps from them now anticipating a jack on my trouser or a tug on my shirt so I can punch someone’s father on the face for rough play that I don’t like. A man, tall, all black and shit except his white T-shirt, get in to my field of view from my left side “ Ah! Bloody cunt! You’re here” jump in my head…. Then come “ I am calling you and you refuse to answer” of a tone I can’t place from the officer.
    “Really? I don’t know my father now works with the police o. So I am the one you were calling like that? I am shook bruh.”
    “I don’t respect you enough that I even call you ‘oga’?”.. A query from the officer.

    “If you did you won’t come in with that command that was embedded in your ‘come here’, anyway, now you’re here, why are you stopping me?”

    “I want to know who you are? what you are doing here? and where are you coming from?”

    “What sort of ridiculous questions are those? Stopping me just to question me like this? What the hell?”

    Stunned, he calls at his colleagues, “E fi awon boys yen sile, e maa bo nibi”(leave those boys— the aforementioned 3 guys— and come here)
    “What a wawu! I done did it mummy! I crashed the party! I’ve fucking crashed the party!” I am feeling proud inside now bruh. With my frowned face I ask him “Oga, wetin now. Why are you disturbing me now?”

    “Mr. Man I ask what is your name? Who are you?”

    “Who are you too? Why should I tell you my name? Why are you asking?”.. A sound like “Ah!” escaped from the one sited at the backseat

    The officer, if vexed by now, he did a good job hiding it, calmly goes “this is a security area and I’m asking who are you?”
    I am wondering what ‘security area’ means, like I’m seeing people who display their goods for sale all around. I respond to him by saying “A security area? And you were informed that the way I walk is disrupting the security? Bloody hell!”

    “It’s like you have something on you that’s why you’re acting like this, so now what is you name?”

    “Matter of fact, you can see all this on me,” motioning my hand over my cloth “hell yeah, aw you can see, I have something on me. I am Tobi, what else?”

    “Where are you coming from?”

    “Is that even a question? Cant you see the nylon I’m holding and the direction I am coming from?

    The man in the backseat is all up in his feelings right now and he asks “are you ok at all?”…. Officer, now you are reaching, you’re taking this too far, shit ain’t that deep man.
    “You know if respond to this your question, you finna start to dey hala ba?”

    “What will you say!? Huh?”….. But I’m back facing my cute little boo boo standing with me.. “You know where I’m coming from already, and yeah, It’s shoprite”

    “What is your work? What do you do?”… I’m pissed to my face now so the expression is there…”Why should I tell you that? You have not even told me your name”

    The man in the backseat asks again “are you sure you are alright?”….fuck it! Fuck being timid in the civic politicin’ with the pushers and the pimps…. “Do I look like I’m not alright to you?”
    “Is not every man walking in the street that is well”

    “Wonderment, same goes for you man, not every man sitted at the back of a green golf 2 car is well too”

    “Come here to the car, what is in those nylons?”

    “Whatever step I’m taking from this spot shall be towards my destination. If you can’t step outta your car, I ain’t moving shit from here” I bark back at him.

    “Show me your ID” my man standing with me asks. I dip hand into my wallet and flashed the ID at him. “Bring it, let me see”

    “Na bruh, I can’t. Gotta pree whatever it is you want to while I hold my shit”… My voice is louder now, I catch a glimpse of people staring at us to see how the party ends.

    “What do you have in your nylon?”

    “You’re not expecting me to spray what I have here on the road, are you?.” I bend the bags revealing as little as I can.

    “Who do you even think you are that you are responding to me like this? You are nothing”. In a burst of laughter I respond to him “thanks fam, I…… nobody.” I continued to laugh.
    “Your days are numbered, your days are numbered.” If this is some threat, I really don’t know but I’m feeling I’ve had enough. My mans already stepping towards the car but I can’t let him slip away, he has to hear me tell him “looks more like you have fewer days on your calendar than mine. Bye officer”
  2. Oluomoadebayo

    Oluomoadebayo Moderator Staff Member

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    Thank you for staying firm. The harassment is getting out of hard recently but unfortunately, we have no one to check them.

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